Why Home and Family are Key to Valentine’s Day – and Knowing True Love
The whole Valentine’s Day thing got off to a really rocky start. It was the day its namesake, a Roman priest, was executed.
As we feverishly prepare cards and candy for a daughter’s 2nd grade party, munch conversation hearts, or drop a hundred bucks on roses and candy, it’s worth considering that this is the way the world decided to commemorate St. Valentine’s death day, decapitated on February 14, around 270 BC.
Why St. Valentine?
For starters, Rome had a long history of emperors who were power hungry, corrupt, and maybe a little crazy. You’ve probably heard of the atrocities against Christians, way before Valentine’s time, in the early days of the Church. Though Rome eventually allowed, and even welcomed, Christianity, the emperors continued to do so in somewhat dubious fashion. One version of St. Valentine’s story tells how Emperor Claudius II observed that married men didn’t make good soldiers, so he banned marriage. No one was allowed to marry. Valentine became a hero of the faith by secretly performing marriage rites in defiance of the emperor’s edict. A risky and romantic ministry to love-sick Roman couples who wanted to enter the God-ordained covenant.
Another version of St. Valentine’s story involves a little girl who had been blind before the priest prayed for her, and she received healing. Before his execution, according to this account, he wrote her a final note, signed, Your Valentine.
Either way, Claudius did away with the good priest, and now we celebrate love on the day of his death.
Still, St. Valentine was on to something. Marriage and family. And I like to think that he’d be happy to know that his courage in obeying God’s call to marry couples has resulted in a celebration of marriage, love, and family. At the end of the day, if that was how it went down, it seems love was the focus of his ministry.
Misunderstanding Love in America
Sadly, our culture has slipped further and further away from the values that Valentine’s Day is meant to champion.
We’ve turned it into a romantic, flowers and candlelight evening between lovers – someone found by swiping right, or a token date to avoid being alone on that “special” night. Often love is seen as disposable – quick to burn bright and just as fast to fizzle out.
Then, there’s the chant “love is love,” which somehow is meant to justify all kinds of LGBTQ romantic imaginings. Parents are told that to truly “love” their child, they must help them transition. We are preached to that “love makes a family,” which is a code that disclaims the traditional family in favor of myriad alternative lifestyles.
So, this Valentine’s Day, you won’t want your kids turning to culture, like social media, TikTok videos, or YouTube to learn about true love. As moms, we’ve got to take these matters into our own hands and help our families truly understand what love is – and how home and family are central to this annual celebration.
Bringing True Love Home This Valentine’s Day
Clearly, we must help our children understand much more than they are being fed through school, Instagram reels, movies, and TV. If they learn about relationships from those sources, they will never be able to grasp the depth and richness of authentic, deep, and abiding love.
True Love: Home is the Hub
Your home is the hub for learning what true love is all about. True love is found in real life, not in a perfect Valentine’s card or an expensive gift.
The things that make up a family represent the essence of love – in practice. It is a vibrant, joyful, frustrating, and sometimes messy mix of unexpected experiences. It is forgiveness for a rebellious teen and long nights sitting with a spouse who is ill. True love found in family is loud and boisterous birthday parties with too many kids getting too out of hand, and quiet moments together as a couple when the kids have finally gone to sleep. It’s romance and ruckus – for the long haul.
True love is vastly different from the one-night-stand culture that seeks to avoid marriage and family in search of a false and very temporary sense of “freedom.” Â
Home is where we make our lives and make our mark on the world. It’s the home team for everyone sharing our last name – and the ones who will be with us even if everyone else turns away. It’s a commitment to passion, pain, and unfailing belief in one another. It’s an imperfect picture – but one that can last a lifetime. That is love worth celebrating on February 14.
True Love: Husbands and Wives
Your children are learning all about what it means to be in love from you and your husband.
It’s scary, huh? I mean, my kids were there for the rough years (we had a few), but now they are seeing how God can heal, restore, and revive a marriage submitted to Him. They are seeing your imperfections, yes, but you also get to show them what it means to forgive someone you love and to never give up.
It’s worth noting that even if you’ve divorced, you can still help your kids learn beautiful lessons about life, love, maybe a little regret, and the beauty of redemption. True love is part of your example too – it’s revealed in different ways.
Sadly, we know others have suffered abuse, and we commend you for prioritizing your safety and that of your children! That is how you model love, care, boundaries, and the importance of saying ‘no’ in an untenable situation.
Regardless of your circumstances, when you consider the unhelpful media voices vying for your kids’ attention and scheming to help them embrace a skewed version of love, you are in the best position to model a life of love for them.
Help them develop a healthy appreciation of true biblical love, which is patient, kind, not jealous or boastful, honoring of others, and not self-absorbed. True love doesn’t anger easily and forgives without keeping score. It’s never happy about bad things (aka evil), but it loves truth. When you really love, you protect, trust, hope, and persevere. It’s a lot, and that’s why we need God’s help in every relationship. (Of course, you know I lifted these concepts from 1 Corinthians 13, by the Apostle Paul, the OG for wedding quotables.)
True Love: Siblings
Brothers and sisters. They don’t always show the love we hope they will. They sometimes tattle on one another. They refuse to share toys or maybe bicker over dishwasher duty. Don’t lose heart amid these loud and full parenting days. Of course, you long for peace and harmony, but don’t miss the ways these relationships are fertile ground for learning about love.
Lesson one for siblings: love isn’t always pretty, and neither are sibling relationships at times. However, your exhausting day-in, day-out reminders to share, forgive, say thank you, and please are bulking them up for relationship success in the future. Dealing with disagreement can feel like a migraine-maker in the moment. Still, as you help your kids learn courtesy to each other (even when it doesn’t seem like it’s sticking), it’s helping them gradually understand the concept of considering others.
Think of it, when they are older, the world benefits from invaluable lessons learned in the furnace of sibling struggles. You are helping them get ready to be good citizens – and caring, considerate spouses. The bonus of all this tumult is that they will most likely grow into lifelong friends as adults. Don’t ever give up on teaching “love” through the chaos of childish sibling rivalry. You are changing the world, one tear-filled, contentious moment at a time!
True Love: For Our Nation and Values
Love of country is often neglected in school these days. Too frequently, children are learning to disdain our founders and our wonderful country. This, too, is a family value to be taught and nurtured at home. Patriotism may seem like it’s fading in the public square, but if American moms have anything to say about it, it’s making a decisive comeback. Love of country is key to the future of your kids and our way of life. We’ve always encouraged moms to practice patriotism in the home. Now, with Trump’s Golden Era in full swing, and after the tragic death of American patriot, Charlie Kirk, families and youth are beginning to rediscover our rich heritage.
Teach your kids what they are missing by seeking out a love of our wonderful national heritage through entertainment offerings. Seriously, when Superman no longer says he’s for “Truth, justice, and the American way,” and Captain America is sort of for “good” but not really for America, we know for sure that Hollywood has gone off the rails.
There are plenty of great movies that are filled with positive messages and truths about our great nation. Pop the popcorn and enjoy a few of these gems (please note that some are not for younger kids):
Yankee Doodle Dandy
National Treasure
1776 (the musical made in 1972)
Lincoln
Sgt. York
Mr. Smith Goes to Washington
The Right Stuff
Gettysburg
Miracle
Top Gun
Hidden Figures
Airforce One
Glory
The Patriot
Apollo 13
This year, America250 will provide opportunities to help your kids understand the greatness of our beloved USA through the year-long celebration of our first two and a half centuries. Moms for America is traveling to every state this year, hoping to be with you to commemorate our wonderful national heritage.
Celebrate this year in grand style, focusing on our nation’s holidays by hosting parties at your home and in your community. Let the kids help decorate and plan the red, white, and blue dĂ©cor and special foods for the occasion. They will begin to feel love and gratitude as young patriotic Americans.
The Truest Love: The God Who Gave All
It’s hard to grasp true love without an understanding of God, who gave up so much – His beloved Son- to have a personal relationship with each of us. If you instill authentic, biblical faith in your children, they will gain a unique understanding of the real meaning of love. Not the flash-in-the-pan version that can leave one heartbroken, but the kind that models how to lay down our lives for one another. The truest love that never gives up, never grows cold – or old.
The love of God is meant for each of us, and even more than that, it’s something we can learn to generously and sacrificially offer one another.
The best part is it’s not just for Valentine’s Day. The love found in your home, with your husband, and kids, and even future families that will become your legacy when they are grown, isn’t a feeling that will fade. It is for always.
  Podcast Note: Don’t miss our conversation with Suzanne Venker as she unpacks seven key habits that can help your marriage truly thrive. Her perspective is refreshingly positive, deeply practical, and full of simple shifts that could make a real difference for you and your spouse.
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